PAIN LOVER

In fact, Mr. Hands is very, very stupid indeed. Or he was.

Mr. Hands's story gets more disturbing the deeper you go.

To begin: he is a man from Washington (state) who fucked a horse. More accurately: he is a man from Washington who somehow got a horse to fuck him. More specifically: he had a horse fuck him in the arse. And filmed it. Until it perforated his colon and killed him.

The video was allegedly one of many videos of men getting equinomorphically browndicked, in some kind of hellish bestial bordello in Seattle. Bestiality is in fact not illegal in the state of Washington (not that it's exactly applauded in the community either - the law just doesn't mention it either way), and this stable had been functioning as a zoophiliac's knocking shop for some time. Somehow, Mr. Hands was the first person to actually get killed by the anal penetration of an enormous horse cock...either that or the brothelkeeper simply ran out of space to bury Hands' body.

Tragically for Mr. Hands, horrifyingly for the rest of us, probably arousingly for some fuckheads out there, the video of the guy gettin' it on with the horse's 3 foot wang found its way, perhaps inevitably, to the internets, where it has quickly become the new Goatse. If you know where to look (i.e. this website), you can still find it, although watching it may kill your brain.

Addendum: to be fair to the sick fuck in the video, although it's assumed, it's not certain that he's the same man as the one who died, exposing the Bordello of Hay in the process. If that is the case, it is, however, safe to assume that he wishes he was.

Another addendum: as a point of interest, the complete list of US states without bestiality-prohibiting laws is as follows: Alaska, Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Hawaii, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Vermont, Washington, West Virginia, and Wyoming. So, to any Zoophiles reading, you're really spoilt for choice. Also, fuck off out of it you sick freak.

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